Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
