i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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