we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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