he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Found your dick twin last night
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
