i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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