we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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