I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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