why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
