doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
