please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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