I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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