Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
