I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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