I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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