I hate all girls vehemently.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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