Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
