I hate all girls vehemently.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
