Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
