yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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