you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
