you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Randomize
