Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
