i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
organizing the empties. That sober.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
