I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize