Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
