Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
