Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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