I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
