The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
