Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She's the barista slut.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
