i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
