thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you will always have a special place in my vag
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
