He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
