No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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