I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
