I wish you could order shots online.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize