I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
