i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
