then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
