I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
