so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
