I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
