Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize