I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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