she was so not down for the gang bang
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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