Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
