my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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