Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
