I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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