Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
