where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
