I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
