508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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