Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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