OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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