Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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