you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
