Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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