So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
