i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
