And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
