I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm jealous of your bromance
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Randomize
