five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
