I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
