Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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