I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
